why i’m not married to robert downey jr.

first of all, i tried to go to the wordpress site and typed in worf press.  pretty sure that’s an entirely different thing.  to boldly blog where no one else has blogged before.  yeah, you didn’t see that joke coming.

so i was just sitting here, wondering why i’m not married to somebody awesome and hot like robert downey jr…and then i looked down: i am not wearing pants and i just spilled granola all over myself and the couch.  THAT is why i’m not married to robert downey jr.  that, and no other reason.  not because i’ve never met him, or that i’m not awesome or hot myself, but because i don’t wear pants and am covered in food.

also, earlier i dropped my nose ring and it fell somewhere on/in the couch but it’s nowhere to be found.  so i looked in some cushions and crevices and it’s not fucking there.  what was there was all this hair (human & dog & probably some cat although i don’t have a cat), crumbs, a plastic bag (?), twisters,  coins, and things i CAN’T EVEN IDENTIFY.  so anyway, robert downey jr’s couch probably doesn’t have all this shit in the cushions.  his cushions are full of awesome.  that is another reason we are not married.  because i am a FUCKING HOBO who does not vacuum or clean.  he wouldn’t stand for that.


~ by hollaphonic on 05/10/2010.

6 Responses to “why i’m not married to robert downey jr.”

  1. Found your blog through The Blogess. I am also not married to Robert Downey Jr. Your couch sounds like my couch. This made me LOL.

    • i’m so honored to be “associated” with the bloggess in some vague way. if i ever catch (kidnap) RDJ i’ll share him with you. also, i hope you really laughed out loud. you better not be lying to me. but even if you are, i’ll overlook it because i finally got a comment from someone other than one of my friends. you will always have a special place in my heart. oh no, i’m coming on too strong again, aren’t i?

  2. Whoa! I want a piece of him too! I found you through The Better than Mother Theresa Blogess too!

    Seriously, I had to go blow my nose after reading this. And as soon as I post this comment I’m going to tweet about RJD’s cushions being full of awesomeness. You will forever have a special place in *my* heart as the author of that phrase.

    • okay, i’ll share him with you, too. there’s probably enough of him to go around? we’ll have to take him to a remote island to keep everyone else away from him. and then we’ll be fugitives. i’m imagining an a-team scenario but maybe less cool. i want to be murdock. we’ll have to get a better van though. maybe a jeep.

      in all seriousness, THANK YOU. you made my day.

  3. Glory be, this post is still here. It didn’t come up in my reader when I subbed to the new blog and I was worried, actually worried, that I wouldn’t be able to come back and read it when I wanted.

    Don’t scare me, I can’t take it.


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