thanks, bitches.

thank you for making june 23rd the busiest day in my blog history with a whopping 14 views during a 24 hour span!!!!  keep up the good work, audience of 2.

i have a lot of bath & body works lotion (CURSE YOU BUY 2 GET 3 FREE SALES!) and seriously, who’s that dry?  i don’t know.  NOT ME.  i also don’t have friends to give them to as gifts.  and the handful of people i do know are always asking me why i keep getting them lotion for gifts and is it some kind of commentary on their odor.  if they had some magic oil-sucking lotion i would buy that and bathe in it daily.  maybe kevin costner & his centrifuge machine can team up with bath & body works and get that shit going.  they can have cute/terrible names like “ain’t it ducky?” or “you no longer have to be a poor sea turtle covered in oil.”  they can also probably just dump all that lotion into the gulf and problem solved.

hang on gulf of mexico, i'm coming for you!

anyway, i have so much lotion, i’m possibly considering having a weird contest and the winner gets a bottle.  i swear i’m *mostly* not a creepy sex pervert.  i wish i still had the smaller sized bottles, i could have had runner-up prizes.  maybe those could be cheerful (or depressing; i think i like the depressing ones more) bookmarks, either ones i steal from work or ones that i make.  if i make them i need some rubber stamps & ink pads and i really don’t have the money for that at the moment.  this is much too stressful for me right now.  contest idea postponed.  although, i like the idea of marketing depressing/depressed character bookmarks.  PATENT PENDING.

i really ought to stop posting things in the middle of the night.

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~ by hollaphonic on 06/29/2010.

2 Responses to “thanks, bitches.”

  1. I have two toddlers and stopped laughing years ago until now! Your BBW comment cracked me up as did your Lost Blog! Keep up the insanity!!

    I’m a reality show junkie so wondering can u blog abt shows like bachelorette, top chef, real housewives?!!! I’m greedy and want to read more:)

    • aw, thanks! sure, i’ll try to work on some reality posts. i’m probably going to have to get dvds/tapes of this stuff, stop going to work, and engage in a many-weeks-long marathon of it all so i can gather up some material. i’ll start stocking my living room with canned goods and buckets.

      thanks for readin’! 🙂

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