nightshade chlamydia.

so, does anyone out there (devoted audience consisting of my grandparents who think they’re watching MASH on television) have a non-food protein allergy?

on and off i’ve been struck with some skin reactions to tomatoes – only by the juice touching a cut part of my lip, or if i rubbed my eye with juice on it. last night i was cutting up some eggplant & prepping it for breading; so i sliced, salted, patted excess juice out, and covered them in flour and within minutes my hands were FUCKING ITCHY & RED & PAINFUL. you know how you blow up a latex glove and it looks like an udder? THAT was what my hands were like and even now they’re kind of puffy and painful.

the internet told me that it’s rare to have a skin reaction to the nightshade family of plants, and that usually people have problems ingesting these veggies – but i don’t (oh god, at least not yet.  i hope you can’t develop a food allergy when you’re an adult.  95% of the websites on this were for babies & toddlers eating food for the first time, THANKS A LOT cyberspace.)  anyway, so if you’re unfamiliar with what i’m talking about, i’m not allergic to the *food* but to a particular protein *in* the food; this family of veggies is LOUSY with this protein.  so if i took a bath in it, i would die.  if you tried to preserve me for the future and pickled me in nothing but eggplant and pure/raw  tomato juice, my body would probably burst into flames.  eggplant juice is to me what holy water is to demons. (although i’ve just been informed that holy water is ineffective against demons, contrary to what i think i remember from the exorcist, but it totally works on vampires.  i just saved you from a vampire attack.  you’re welcome.)

FINE – we’ll just say water to elphaba/wicked witch of the west.

so i’m wondering, does anyone else out there have this problem? what do you do besides anti-histamines and maybe wearing gloves to cook?

this eggplant better be fucking delicious.

ok, grammy & pa-pa, if you’re still with me here, stay tuned for i love lucy & commercials depicting an unattainable american dream which comes crashing down in the oil crisis of the late 70s and another epic recession 35  years later.  wait, when the fuck was MASH on?*

*wikipedia informs me MASH is actually M*A*S*H and that it ran from 1972-1983.  oh, wikipedia, you’re like that know-it-all kid in class who raised their hand for every question & no one liked…except now that you’re grown up you’re really successful, like bill gates successful,  and everyone still hates you because their lives went nowhere except the backseat of a car behind a liquor store.

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~ by hollaphonic on 08/08/2010.

4 Responses to “nightshade chlamydia.”

  1. I’m very sorry about your allergy & have no info to impart, but that Grammy & Pa-Pa/Wikipedia bit had me chuckling in this evil way that made the kids come running to see what was on the computer. Which officially makes you more interesting to one 5-year-old and one 3-year-old. Congrats!

  2. Dangnabit, that was supposed to say, “Which officially makes you more interesting *THAN LIGHTNING MCQUEEN* to one 5-year-old and one 3-year-old. Congrats!

  3. And I forgot the closing quote on my 2nd comment. But at least now you have a bunch ‘o comments from someone other than your grandparents on this post. 🙂

    • haha. well thank you…i think. i’ve always wanted to be extremely popular with young, impressionable children.

      i also like that your kids are attracted to evil, possibly maniacal laughter. you’ve been raising them well.

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