soooo many drugs. or not enough.

just a quick posty-post to relay my latest pharmacy excursion – because what i do during the day is utterly mindfuckblowing.  er, or something.

well, i can’t go back to the one pharmacy because i yelled at the tech person, actually like 3, because they weren’t giving me my drugs and then they were suddenly trying to give me *too many* drugs (which would have been fine but they expected me to pay for them.  fu$ck that.  fusck?  i invented a new swear word just now).  the one tech was all “blah blah this is how the insurance works you idiot” and i was all like, ” OH MY GOD I’M UNSTABLE AND YOU NEED TO SHOVE THAT RX UP YOUR FRIGGIN’ NOSE.”  isn’t there some kind of pharmacy emergency plan where they go get the big guns?  or at least don a bulletproof vest.  anyway, so that was some time ago….may?  but i’m sure they still have my picture up in the back.

today at a different pharmacy where i’ve  had considerably fewer problems, but occasionally some problems because i think maybe all the pharmacies i’ve been banned from have contacted them, the tech asked if i had any questions, so i said (for the first time ever) “actually, yes i do have a question about drug interactions with this decongestant.”  then she just stared at me and said, “well i’m not the pharmacist.”  um.  yeah, i kind of got that feeling because you’re not standing on a two-foot soapbox.  in the first place, i said i had 2 rx’s.  and she came back with 1.  i asked if there was another.  and she just stared at me with the vacant look of a blow-up doll, and said “oh. was there supposed to be another one?” sort of implying that there wasn’t another one and i MUST be mistaken.*  so she came back and rang/ringed me up…i guess it’s rang, and she told me to go over to another counter for the pharma-titan to be smug at me.^  when she came over, i phrased my question like this, “so this decongestant, it says ‘do not use if you’re taking certain anti-depressants,’ so if i take all of these” *i motion to all the drugs on the counter* “will i explode?”

at least she chuckled.  she can’t be that bad?  but really, am i an adult?  i just asked a “medical professional” *snort*  if i would explode.  no, i am not an adult.  just a child in a very mature, hot ladies’ body.  oh, that doesn’t sound right at all….

so,  it turns out i didn’t even read the box correctly because it said it may interact only with MAOI’s which i always confuse with moai.  i’m pretty sure those aren’t the same thing.  possibly if i take the decongestant in the vicinity of easter island i will explode?  i bet that’s what happened to amelia earhart.

i remember hearing that the inhabitants of the isle of zombie jesus mining some sort of ancient nasal decongestant with extremely volatile components which they made into the giant-head-pills for the gods but then they didn’t work so the gods were all smitey and eliminated them from the island.  and then the island killed amelia earhart.  it’s like the fucking bermuda triangle, but without the two other fixed points.  i should be a travel agent.

*in the first place, aren’t all the rx’s filed alphabetically in the same place?  whenever i have more than one, if i don’t specify how fucking many i have they come back with just one.  DO YOUR EYES WORK AT ALL???  in the second place, i fucking know what i’ve been prescribed and have dropped off.  i may be unstable but the glued-together bits and pieces of my brain still retain information.  thirdly, drop the attitude or i’ll cut you.

^can one be smug AT someone?

p.s. despite this being tagged “pantslessness” and categorized in “no pants” that doesn’t mean i wasn’t wearing pants at the pharmacy.  then i could understand their reaction to me.  but it just means i’m not wearing pants right now.

p.p.s. so i’m pantsless and watching qvc at 2 am.  i know how to have a good time.


~ by hollaphonic on 09/15/2010.

One Response to “soooo many drugs. or not enough.”

  1. What? No comments? I swear, you totally make me laugh out loud. If for no other reason, than for seeing my name in your tweets off to the side. It got me all distracted and here it is a day later and I’m finally coming back to this tab to finish and *bam* lol again.

    I like the “miscarriages of justice” tag for this, tho I must say I was worried about some kind of subtext when I saw miscarriage… it’s important to read all the words. I know this because I am a mom and rarely have time to.

    Now, off to read xkcd. Yes, it’s Tuesday. I’m 2 days late with my Sunday reading and you’ve moved up to #2 on my list of the 3 things I must read on Sunday. Congrats. Sorry there’s no prize money. 😦

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