this is what it sounds liekv whnDOVVVESS fdiiiiiier

er. i sick. & possibly…having panic attack just as sleeping aid kicks in. feel woozzy & crazy U& panicky rage &dread & sleepy.hungry.Wwio lsw liwk some votesas to wheterh i shold taka nother sxk daty=f rom work baded n m=hin ill an it har de to breath so standing is hard but i b33n ou5 wsick freqeuemntyl laasr month -i think 1 or 2 taken therewith nopay f rouse because i don’t have enouth if any in my time bank even use a sik dau. unthnen 2 wreks before that i wer sick for 2 days with a cold compounded by a yeast geyser the new wonder of the wordl sproudting outstw betweeth my highs. i was quite punushed during tose 2 days, fir st the cottage and feta factory in my pant and i had to drink cranbesirry juie whi h iu fricvllkken hate and i suffered again in a defferent wau, i pretty sure i AVE BEEN ok so far, until today when i caufht from m y husdanmdwwhat he caught from a girl at work. no not chlamysdua.l i knoq hoq u ppwopl are uaingTWE3 AUFJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBUG NO

my6 1queitios,, iw, kno2int my recent battle with stan i mean satan (oh and prioor to dece i always took a day off each month at the first approach of the red visitors.those are painful times and i a can do is lie down, eat chocolate, and cry. very rarely, anymore, are they due to my depression than my body being able to go. deoressuion i thik shoud ge rc ognized as a disease that is considdrere medical for inclusion into sick policy. “I am having a relapse today and i an in noc onditin to stick out out today” or “not coming in because when i wake up i burst into fucking huge tears anddeclare thaytyhert is o way i geeting out this bed and whether i do or not, my mood is there, nobody will be home for 3 hours and i ould easily just cut myself all u-p andtake amm…mymexidcation and that woudl be THE EDND. like if you’re ennmpkoyee is not coming in because they’re having to dfirh to get out of bed assaulyed with so amyn whats the point of life what does it all mean i was abused i why was i abuesd whuyd did not continue sch99o i 2owmt get JOB ANS I B deeW A OLOOSWER DEOENDENTON agyuuy sometone t take care of me becauwe i n==have never b3een taken care if before i feign suicide nuu unreactu9n to 0oplayinh a character ideaoizati9n idoolioZaeyio aN Aggrees8ve menaoly bc i find them alive and can helo ane this sidisease o0a[;ants a seed in ur brain and it ferforq and goros untiul middoe adulthood and care fr ut ine way or another changes h9w uuu9rit reacts t you, i;m juar aTINF IT IT aharesdhad= ard lifww n pweiuos od riumwt o go rthroit shoudl be disapoaug coveredl bit now mt cincwern ias that it is mot a disease rharis seriuius ofr that there s a pooicy for and so i have trakenmental health days fbefre9and after yeras fo ssaving u0p my tiume bacnk orf sick 6im i used 9t up and it is gonel;; so no i our wiri no p$Rzu

bloloclks my p9oin is a urvey quesiton: i am sick and panicking and worried about work and i should be be i know in the wscme of my life they don;t matter and i so germy and hot cold raspy uncomfortablei want ti screen

what i do tomorrow: WORK HOME SICK
you vote, decies. iget dizzy and nauseous and ercie m y guilyt pleasrda;gm.fh

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~ by hollaphonic on 01/12/2011.

4 Responses to “this is what it sounds liekv whnDOVVVESS fdiiiiiier”

  1. Just got up and saw your tweets. Good lord, girl, stay home! Tell them they’ll appreciate not catching the cold (or whatever it is) & leave the depression out of it because bosses can be total jerks.

    • i was sort of hoping this entry was all a dream. thanks. i am in bed and watching a strange pbs show about north african travel agents. a better way to spend my time than work, healthy or not.

    • p.s. how the hell did you understand any of this? *i’m* having trouble with it.

      • It seemed to me that there were spaces that were in the wrong spot and sometimes you typed a nearby letter or made an opposite hand typo (used the right index finger when you meant the left index finger). I do that crap all the time which is why my right ring finger is so strong (backspace key).

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