kristen britain isn’t a meanie. she’s a bitch.

dear minions,

do you remember when i wrote a tweet review for The High King’s Tomb last winter, saying succinctly that it babbled on like an old man sitting next to you in a doctor’s office waiting room*, and then the writer called me an asshole?  no? maybe i should back up, this lady, or maybe i’ll just say this “bag lady” ’cause language like that ain’t fit for no lady ‘cept lady gaga, is a writer who wrote literally the BEST fantasy ever, called Green Rider.  then, possibly because she never had any different ideas for books and because she saw $$$ from the first book, she decided to turn it into a series — the second book was not as good as the first and the third wasn’t as good as the second.  portions of the third book i thought could be rewritten to be shorter or completely cut out and do the whole “less is more” thing, considering the book was 600-700 pages (?) and i found myself sitting there like…OH MY GOD WHAT’S HAPPENING TO KARIGAN GET BACK TO THAT PART THIS SHIT IS BORING… i mean, after all, i am the market you’re writing to isn’t it, kristen?  just because i don’t like something doesn’t mean i’m wrong, just means i didn’t like it.   but i guess you want to surround yourself with sycophantic douches who tell you what you want to hear, how wonderful you are, what a glorious writer you are, even more brilliant than steinbeck, hawthorne, wharton, etc., and not a varying opinion.

anyway, like a true professional, she couldn’t handle a review which was written on twitter and got her panties in a wad and tweeted about it like a baby and got together a cyber posse to kow-tow to her in tweets, and then labeled yours truly an asshole.  ME?  an asshole? NEVER! (*sarcasm*).  i’m sure when the new york times reviews her books, she calls them assholes too.  haha!  i made a joke — the new york times would never review pulp like hers.  her being a fucking baby set in motion a chain of events which has culminated in a “feud” where i called her out over twitter (just 3x) and then she deleted her twitter because she can dish it but can’t take it.  that’s right — I DROVE SOMEONE OFF OF TWITTER!  i know, i was proud.  i believe my tweets to her (if i can find them now) weren’t even “confrontational,” i think they were like, “hey you have no right to call me an asshole” or something lame like that.  a classy person would have ignored the initial review or wrote something to the effect of, “sorry you didn’t like it, i found those parts to be instrumental to the story.  don’t give up on the story; glad to hear you enjoyed the first one.”  seriously, i LOVED Green Rider but may possibly not read it again for a while because now i have a bad association with it.  and i’m certainly never buying one of her books again.  i got Blackveil out from the library.  kristen britain, was it a wise move to alienate one of your readers?  especially considering you must have so few?  (if you thought i was an asshole when i wasn’t even being one, you’re in for a fucking surprise because i can definitely TAKE IT UP A NOTCH.)

so now that i’ve got my hands on the fourth book, i will read it and do a review of it and i won’t let our previous altercation affect my perception of the book.  BECAUSE I’M A GODDAMN PROFESSIONAL.

i just wanted y’all to know.  and when kristen britain googles herself, which i’m sure she does constantly to see how popular she is, she can also know that.  and that she’s made an enemy for life.

xoxo holly

* lit_tweets: high kings tomb, @kristenbritain: series/fantasy. #3. tedious, unncssry, poorly edited. read #1 (green rider, A++) & skip the sequels.


~ by hollaphonic on 05/25/2011.

4 Responses to “kristen britain isn’t a meanie. she’s a bitch.”

  1. That was the tweet that sent her into a tizzy? As a mom I’m embarrassed for her mom. Because she’s obviously a teenager from all the pouting & hysterics. #douchecanoe

    • i know! i thought it was rather benign myself. i think perhaps she hasn’t had a lot of contact with the outside world.

  2. …I feel like this happened already a long time ago. Are you just now writing about it, or was there another author you drove off twitter, or am I just delusional? Anyway, I sympathize. I hate it when my favorite authors turn out to be assholes. It taints the books for me. I try to never find anything out about authors now in case they’re Republicans or something.

    • the tweets i wrote to/about her were a long time ago. this post is brand new. because i just got the book. DID YOU NOT READ THE POST FOR CHRISSAKES? it explains the whole thing. sadly, have only driven off one author. you are delusional. and i’m totally the bossest warlock, because she turned out not to merely be republican or somesuch, but actually despises me personally. #WINNING

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: