i have yer meter readin’ right here! [gestures inappropriately]

so the gas and electric company is all oh you haven’t let us into your house to read the meters in about a year, you should really fucking do that or else we’re going to charge you $25 every billing cycle.  but i could SWEAR that within the last year they have been here. typically they come at 9 am and, yes, i am always still sleeping at that point, or just in bed, or just don’t want to answer the door in my pajamas.  but when my husband is home he (for some reason) lets them in.  and when they come in they say delightful things like “the other people last time…”  WHICH WAS US AND IT WAS ALSO THE SAME GUY, or implies that we MUST be renters because our house is messy (he assumed from one time to the next that we were different people because the first time our house was messy and then several months later when he came it was clean so CLEARLY we must be different people???), or he yells at me because when we bought the house we changed the locks and so his key didn’t work anymore.  WELL THAT’S WHY WE CHANGED THE FUCKING LOCKS BECAUSE STRANGE PEOPLE HAVE KEYS THAT WE DIDN’T GIVE TO THEM.  i tried explaining that the last people were elderly and that i, in fact, was not elderly and therefore a different person, but that entirely escaped him.  but the messy to clean thing totally means i’m not the same person.  anyway, i think he just wants to come into our house and be rude and judge us because i totally think he’s been down to the basement in the last 12 months, so i suggested to my husband that we make him sign a piece of paper and date it and/or photograph him holding up that day’s newspaper to PROVE to the company that he was in here and perhaps briefly held hostage.  for some reason, he didn’t think the meter reader would go for it.

also, why do they go around at 9 am when most people are at work?  do that many people give them keys?  then he comes around again just after lunch so if you were home, you’ve already left again.  they’re setting you up for failure.  and just because a car is in the driveway and/or someone is home doesn’t mean they’re not sleeping.  i mean, what if i were someone who worked at night and wasn’t just lazy, and i needed to sleep during the day?  banging loudly on doors and windows and ringing the doorbell four times is also not someone i want to open the door to.  that’s the beginning of a law and order episode.

yesterday i also determined that apparently i can’t ever open the front door to get a breeze because every person who’s ever wanted me to answer the door is waiting out in the street for some sign of welcome.  and apparently you can’t just lie on the couch pretending to sleep.  or pretend to be asleep once they’ve just seen you totally awake and eating a sandwich.

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~ by hollaphonic on 06/21/2012.

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